Doug hasn’t done much of anything and consequently, this will be mostly filled with lies. Read on at your own peril.

      
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My friend Ross Reay is a fantastic artist and you should stop looking at my page right now and go over to his new webpage. http://www.wix.com/rossreay/myartpage#!   Really I mean it. He’s that good. Click now. http://www.wix.com/rossreay/myartpage#!   Okay, you’re still reading. Cut it out. http://www.wix.com/rossreay/myartpage#!  

What a perfect summer movie this is! James and I went with our friends Denis and Michael with pretty low expectations, but it was really a treat.

Don’t let the movie’s title fool you. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is really all about the relationships, and the characters and their connections, how they love each other, but betray each other. If you don’t shed a tear when James Franco finds the Curious George doll that he lost in kindergarten, I’ll be a…

No it’s not. It’s RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, for god’s sake.

is the fantastic creative force behind my website. Even when confronted with my stupidity around computer stuff, she explained it so I know how to update and fix things myself. I tried not to learn it, I swear, but despite myself I did. A couple of times I thought that I had broken the internet, but so far everyone still seems to be getting their emails and porn and conspiracy theories just fine. If you need a site, go to her.

I am certain many of you have been waiting with bated breath (or ‘baited’ breath perhaps) for the next HILARIOUS post and I have let you down. For this I am truly sorry.

Okay, not so much.

But the good news is that I have been a busy, busy bee, making capital-A Art, working on two short stories, revising my novel, and continuing my quest to find the abs under my flabs. Progress has been made on all fronts. Even James’ discovery of a killer cashew brittle recipe hasn’t deterred me.

You know how other people blabber on about their dreams and ruin it for people like me who have really fascinating ones? You know that, right? Well my first two dreams of 2012 were both so stupid I can’t help but share them.

Having a birthday exactly one week before Christmas was tough for James growing up and so I try make his birthday a special event. No combined, double-size, ‘Christmobirthday’ presents here, my friends. (I know. That’s unlike me. Go figure.)

So, last Sunday, December 18th, thanks to that bunch of deceitful, underhanded, two-faced frauds that we call friends, I threw a wonderfully successful, very special surprise party for James.